The first year is exciting, the second year is fun, and the third year is comfortable. After that, things can start to get a little stale. Many marriages have taken this unfortunate trajectory, which can end in divorce or infidelity. The worst part is that most relationships don’t have to end this way. Long-term boredom is not inevitable in romance and personal partnership, if the proper steps are taken.
Observe Yourself
A lack of interest or satisfaction in a marriage often comes from a lack of interest or satisfaction with your own life. In these cases, the problem is in the person and not the relationship. The first step in addressing any marital problem is to make sure it really is a marital problem and not a personal one. Take personal inventory, really examine yourself and consider talking to a therapist or counselor.
Talk About It
Ignoring the situation is not a solution. One of the most common mistakes married people make is not communicating. If you think things are stale or boring, bring it up. Consider going to marriage counseling as a couple. This environment helps foster honesty in a safe space. Even though bringing up these concerns might be difficult, these discussions are the only way to get everyone in sync. This gives your marriage a fighting chance to solve the problem.
Make Changes
Making real or profound life change can reinvigorate a relationship and make life more engaging again. There are a lot of ways to shake things up. It could be as simple as doing couples workout sessions every morning together, or it might be something drastic like moving to a new state or launching new careers. Focus on action and doing rather than just planning. Make change a part of your daily lifestyle.
Have Alone Time
Even though it sounds counterintuitive, getting more alone time in your life can actually support a stale marriage. Sometimes couples spend too much time together, which strangles their other interests, hobbies, and relationships. This leads to general boredom and staleness, which eventually gets turned on the romance when there’s nothing else left. This is something couples need to talk about first, but it’s usually a good idea to make room for each person to spend time completely how they choose without obligation.
There are a lot of factors that can influence your satisfaction in marriage, which means that there is no one perfect solution to use. However, a real examination of your own life and feelings followed by an open and honest discussion with your spouse can open the door to real solutions to the issues you face.
